As a party, our priority concerning "Don't Ask don't Tell" concerning homosexuals in the military should be what is best for our national security, then what is best for society, and lastly what is best for any individual concerns.
That being so, it's clear we should retain the current policy, and not allow "open" gays to serve in the military. Within that, based on the military's need, I would allow some changes that permit people who want to live a gay lifestyle to be in certain critical jobs such as language interpreters or other positions that wouldn't compromise the integrity of a specific unit.
It is possible to have the policy and implement it in a way to help America. But on a basic level, it is wrong to ask a volunteer soldier to be in a unit where he could be subject to sexual situations.
This same situation applies with women. Our judgements of women in combat should be based on what's best for protecting the nation. This will often lead to an answer not sought or accepted by many.